FairMormon

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Come, Follow Me Resources

Youth

FairMormon Conference Podcast #34 – Jeffrey Bradshaw, “Stories of the Saints in the DR Congo”

by

Podcast: Download (49.2MB)

Subscribe: RSS

This podcast series features past FairMormon Conference presentations. Please join us for the 2019 FairMormon Conference coming up August 7-9! You can attend in person or purchase the video streaming.

Jeffrey Bradshaw, Stories of the Saints in the DR Congo

Transcript available here.

Dr. Jeffrey M. Bradshaw is a Senior Research Scientist at the Florida Institute for Human and Machine Cognition in Pensacola, Florida. His professional writings have explored a wide range of topics in human and machine intelligence (www.jeffreymbradshaw.net). Jeff has been the recipient of several awards and patents and has been an adviser for initiatives in science, defense, space, industry, and academia worldwide. He chairs the Scientific Advisory Council for the Nissan Research Center—Silicon Valley and is a former co-editor of the Human-Centered Computing Department for IEEE Intelligent Systems. He was a member of the Defense Science Board 2015 Study on Autonomy, the Board on Global Science and Technology for the National Academies of Science, and the National Research Council Committee on Emerging Cognitive Neuroscience Research.

Jeff serves as a vice president for The Interpreter Foundation and is on the Advisory Board for the Academy for Temple Studies. His articles on temple studies and the ancient Near East have appeared in Studies in the Bible and Antiquity, Element: A Journal of Mormon Philosophy and Theology, Interpreter: A Journal of Mormon Scripture, Meridian Magazine, and BYU Studies. Jeff has written detailed commentaries on the book of Moses and Genesis 1-11 and on temple themes in the scriptures. For LDS-related publications, see www.TempleThemes.net.

Jeff was a missionary in France and Belgium from 1975–1977, and his family has returned twice to live in France: once from 1993–1994 as a Fulbright Scholar and a second time from 2005–2006 as an unexpected “sabbatical” in the aftermath of Hurricane Ivan. Jeff has served twice as a bishop and twice as a counselor in the stake presidency of the Pensacola Florida Stake. He and his wife, Kathleen, are the parents of four children and twelve grandchildren. In June 2018, they finished two years of service in the Democratic Republic of Congo, Kinshasa Mission.

Audio Copyright © 2018 The Foundation for Apologetic Information and Research, Inc. Any reproduction or transcription of this material without prior express written permission is prohibited.

Happy Easter from the DR Congo (The Kinshasa DR Congo Temple: A Personal Perspective, Part 3)

by

Rodrigue Kabuya Kabamba

Description of the Series

Over the next several weeks, we will trace the temple’s history from its announcement to the completion of the temple building. And from its completion as a sacred building to its dedication and use as a House of the Lord by the Latter-day Saints in this choice part of the world.

Those interested in a more details about the Church in the DR Congo and its new temple may consult or download an in-depth history that is posted at the Southeast Africa Area website:

Many of the video supplements in this series will complement and personalize the written history: early members will tell fascinating stories of the challenges and blessings of the coming of the Church to the country, some will talk about their roles in temple construction and operation, and others will describe how having a temple in Kinshasa will bless their lives.

This Episode

While working on a recent project, I asked Rodrigue Kabuya Kabamba, a member of the Church in Kinshasa, DR Congo, to help me on some graphic designs. This isn’t the first time he has bailed me and others out — his work has been an important part of several other Church projects during the last few years, including his handsome designs for several visual concepts — large and small — that were needed for the open house and dedication events of the new Kinshasa DR Congo Temple. Nearly all of this time-consuming work has been done cheerfully at no cost as part of Church assignments.

Recently, as he copied the graphics he created for me from his laptop to mine, he included some of his video projects, including a short video he had created for Africa Southeast Area Public Affairs in 2017. It contained a delightful montage of Congolese children describing what Easter meant to them. After seeing it, I asked if he would mind if I asked permission from the Area Public Affairs to add English subtitles, a new and include it as part of a blog post.

With the kind permission of the Africa Southeast Area Public Affairs team, I am posting Rodrigue’s touching video, along with another short extracted from an oral history where he explains his perspective on visual communication and shares his testimony.

Main Feature

Happy Easter from the DR Congo! (French with English subtitles)

Video Supplements

03A: Testimony of Visual Artist from the DR Congo (French with English subtitles)

FairMormon Questions: Having unsettling feelings before receiving my endowment

by

FairMormon has a service where questions can be submitted and they are answered by volunteers. If you have a question, you can submit it at http://www.fairmormon.org/contact. We will occasionally publish answers here for questions that are commonly asked, or are on topics that are receiving a lot of attention. This particular question has three answers below.

QUESTION:

I’m not endowed, but I hear details about  special clothing and secretiveness that I am unsettled by. If something is so holy, then why does it feel wrong?

ANSWER FROM FAIRMORMON VOLUNTEER RENE KRYWULT:

I am Rene Krywult from Vienna, Austria, Europe, and I am one of those at FairMormon who answer questions. I am not a spokesperson for Fairmormon, and also not for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Thus, I only speak for myself. What I say should not be misunderstood as being authoritative doctrine of the Church. My mother tongue is German, not English.

Dear Brother, I can certainly understand your unease. In Christianity, the way sacred ordinances and church services are done are called “liturgies.” So, sacrament meeting is a liturgy, baptism is a liturgy, anointing and blessing is a liturgy and so on. [Read more…] about FairMormon Questions: Having unsettling feelings before receiving my endowment

The Temple 1: “Turning the Hearts of the Children” (The Church in the DR Congo: A Personal Perspective, Part 8)

by

Primary children from the Buima branch in the city of Matadi, DR Congo

In a presentation at the 2018 FairMormon Conference,[1]I shared stories of some of the faithful Saints in the Democratic Republic of the Congo (Kinshasa). In this new series of presentations, I would like to speak from a more personal perspective, reflecting on the meaning of that experience for Kathleen and me, and pondering some of the dynamics of numerical and spiritual growth of the Church in that country.

The series is organized into eleven parts:

  1. Prologue: What brought us to Africa?
  2. Snapshot of the Church in the DR Congo
  3. The missionaries
  4. What attracts people to the Church?
  5. Building from centers of strength 1 — Kisangani
  6. Building from centers of strength 2 — Wagenya
  7. Taking the Gospel to the “ends of the earth”
  8. The temple 1: “Turning the hearts of the children”
  9. The temple 2: “Holiness to the Lord”
  10. The temple 3: A light to the world
  11. “The labourers are few”

In this episode, we touch on the excitement that is running high in the DR Congo this week in view of the elections scheduled for December 23rd. Since its independence in 1960, the country has never known a peaceful transition of power through elections. Last week, an arsonist set fire to 8,000 of the 10,000 voting machines that had been stored in Kinshasa. We contrast this disaster to the positive influence of the local “Light the World” campaign of the Church that kicked off a few weeks ago.

The story will be told of the unfolding of an inspired project that was close to the heart of Sister Kriss Gates. With her husband Ed, she had been called as a temple construction missionary. Sister Gates wanted all Primary children and their families to not only know about the temple but also to feel that they were a personal part of it. At the heart of her plan was the Congo River, the vast artery that runs between the Republic of Congo and the Democratic Republic of the Congo.

[1]The video version of the entire FairMormon presentation is available on the FairMormon YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJl9FvLKmjw. The seven segments of this presentation, in an edited and somewhat expanded form, are available for reading at Meridian Magazine(www.ldsmag.com) and the website of The Interpreter Foundation(https://interpreterfoundation.org). For more articles and videos by Jeffrey M. Bradshaw, see www.templethemes.org.

Jaxon Washburn – Interfaith Work, and Being called on a Mission

by

Podcast: Download (49.6MB)

Subscribe: RSS

Jaxon Washburn is a remarkable young man that has done a great deal of outreach work as part of being on interfaith councils, and other organizations that support religious practice. His story is unusual in that, while Jaxon was raised for the first 12 years in what he describes as a traditional Latter-day Saint household, following his mother’s decision to leave the Church, he began to live a sort of double religious life studying and experiencing two different faith traditions on a regular basis.

Jaxon also shares how previous FairMormon Podcasts were instrumental in helping him to navigate his faith crisis and come to a testimony of the truth claims of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Having faithful and scholarly answers to critical questions provided him with a path through his questions, and have answers where anti-mormon literature was suffocating and depressing.

This unique experience led Jaxon to study many of the worlds religions, and, like Joseph Smith, found himself with the designs of finding out which of all the sects was the one God wanted him to align himself. Through considerable study, including listening to some past podcasts by host Nick Galieti for the FairMormon organization, Jaxon felt that he had gained a testimony of the truthfulness of the Restored Gospel, of its claims to prophetic leadership and the validity of the Book of Mormon as Scripture.

Arizona Interfaith Council - Jaxon Washburn
Some members of the Arizona Interfaith Council – including Jaxon Washburn

Jaxon came to the decision to place on hold his religious studies path in the halls of higher learning to serve a mission. In this episode he announces where he has been called, as well as some of the pilot program that he is involved with regarding language learning through the MTC. This episode features an powerful story of love, the importance of study in coming to a conversion, as well as the remarkable ways that life experience can guide us in the path that leads us back to our Heavenly Father.

Jaxon on the World Religion and Tolerance Club
Jaxon (and other students) in the World Religion and Tolerance Club

To learn more about the mission where Jaxon will be serving his mission – click here.

Charity: “The Greatest of All” (Stories of the Saints in the DR Congo Part 2)

by

This series shares six stories about members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints from the Democratic Republic of the Congo. Each story is framed in the context of a Christlike attribute. This article with examples of charity is an adapted and expanded from part 2 of a presentation given at the FairMormon 2018 Conference.

The video version of the entire FairMormon presentation is available on the FairMormon YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJl9FvLKmjw

The article relating to this story can be found at the Interpreter Foundation website: Charity: “The Greatest of All” — Stories of the Saints in the DR Congo, Part 2

If you would like to watch the other presentations from the 2018 FairMormon Conference, you can still purchase video streaming.

Great Initiatives in Church History: Seminary

by

“For too long Mormon women’s voices have been ignored. We, as a people, have suffered because of it.” Elder Steven E. Snow, Church Historian, June 2017 MHA Conference (Hat Tip Juvenile Instructor)

Inspired by my calling as a ward self-reliance specialist, I have started collecting stories about other educational initiatives undertaken in Latter-day Saint history. A story that highlights the contribution of a Mormon woman seem especially apropos in light of the upcoming celebration of  Mormon Women’s history:

This story comes from Casey Griffiths’s article “A Century of Seminary” who writes:

Many complex historical forces led to the creation of the seminary program. But in the simplest sense, the program began in the inauspicious setting of a family home evening. Joseph F. Merrill, a newly called member of the Granite Utah Stake presidency, sat listening to his wife, Annie, tell stories from the Bible and the Book of Mormon to their children before they went to bed. “Her list of these stories were so long that her husband often marveled at their number, and frequently sat as spellbound as were the children as she skillfully related them.” When Brother Merrill later asked his wife where she had learned all of the stories, she replied that she had learned most of them in a theology class conducted by Brother James E. Talmage at the Salt Lake Academy, a Church-owned school she had attended as a young girl. Deeply moved by his wife’s effectiveness as a teacher, Brother Merrill immediately began contemplating how other children attending public schools could receive the same kind of spiritual training as his wife. He became obsessed with the idea of providing students with a religious experience as part of the school day, regardless of what kind of school they attended. A few weeks later he presented the rough idea for a new religious education program to the stake presidency.

Of course, while this simple experience captures some of the revelatory forces leading to the creation of seminary, it must be acknowledged that the seminary program was not created in a vacuum.

While some might think that protest and public shaming are the most effective way to change the world or even the Church, this example captures the importance of personal inspiration and innovation in the home.  President Nelson once stated that “The home is the laboratory of love and in it resides the most important unit of the Church and of society—the family ” I like how Annie Merrill demonstrated that teenagers could be taught by adapting the best church scholarship of the day in an engaging manner. I am grateful that her stake leaders were able to see the merits of generalizing her success across a larger setting. I give major props the Seminary program for continuing this tradition and  being so quick to integrate the Gospel Topics Essays into the curriculum and training instructors how to find the best resources to answer questions.

Further Reading Links:

Register for Women’s Day at FairMormon Conference
Help Doubting Students Choose to “Be Believing,” Elder Renlund Tells Seminary and Institute Teachers (June 2018)
Answering Difficult Questions with Supplemental Resources, Chad H. Webb (July 2017)
The Opportunities and Responsibilities of CES Teachers in the 21st Century, Elder M. Russell Ballard (Feb. 2016)

 

LGBT Youth Suicides: What Needs to Change

by

This is a guest post from Debra Oaks Coe, who is a member of the Executive Committee of the Utah Commission for LGBT Suicide Awareness and Prevention and Lead of the Anti-Discrimination Committee for Mormon Women for Ethical Government.

“What is changing – and what needs to change – is to help Church members respond sensitively and thoughtfully where they encounter same-sex attraction in their own families, among other Church members, or elsewhere”. [1] Elder Dallin H. Oaks

The unprecedented rise in Utah’s youth suicide rate over the past decade has developed into an uncertain political issue as its underlying causes have been debated. Some have questioned what possible influence the Church has had, particularly in regards to suicides among individuals who are LGBT. While a no conclusive or singular cause has yet been identified, the Church has long and repeatedly urged Latter-day Saints to be more mindful, considerate, and inclusive as part of needed change.

Citing misunderstanding—including among Church members—of the Church’s positions on various issues related to same-sex attraction, Elder Oaks authored an Ensign article on the topic in 1995. In it, he quoted a letter he had received expressing serious concern that too often we talk about gay and lesbian members with “a real lack of the pure love of Christ” which “creates more depression and a tremendous amount of guilt, shame, and lack of self-worth.” The author asks for more sensitivity saying this “would surely help avoid suicides and schisms that are caused within families.” [2]

Elder Oaks then admonished Latter-day Saints regarding these concerns:

“These communications surely show the need for improvement in our communication… Each member of Christ’s church has a clear-cut doctrinal responsibility to show forth love and to extend help and understanding…  All should understand that persons (and their family members) struggling with the burden of same-sex attraction are in special need of the love and encouragement that is a clear responsibility of Church members, who have signified by covenant their willingness “to bear one another’s burdens” (Mosiah 18:8) ‘and so fulfil the law of Christ’ (Gal. 6:2).” [3]

Over the next several years, the Church and its leaders made many statements affirming that their stand on traditional marriage should never, ever be used to justify unkindness or persecution toward the LGBT community or individuals. After confirmed reports from different parts of the US of violent acts along with suicides related to individuals being gay, the church issued a very clear statement in October 2010.

“We join our voice with others in unreserved condemnation of acts of cruelty or attempts to belittle or mock any group or individual that is different – whether those differences arise from race, religion, mental challenges, social status, sexual orientation or for any other reason. Such actions simply have no place in our society.

…Our parents, young adults, teens and children should… of all people, be especially sensitive to the vulnerable in society and be willing to speak out against bullying or intimidation whenever it occurs, including unkindness toward those who are attracted to others of the same sex. This is particularly so in our Latter-day Saint congregations. Each Latter-day Saint family and individual should carefully consider whether their attitudes and actions toward others properly reflect Jesus Christ’s second great commandment, to “Love One Another.” [4]

The Church began an extended effort to better understand the challenges members who are gay face, as well as the challenges their families face. It explored how to help members respond better.

In April 2012 General Conference, Elder Oaks delivered a talk titled “Protect the Children” In it, he encouraged members to be more mindful of how their words might adversely impact young people. He specifically mentioned those with same-sex attraction as being particularly vulnerable and their need of loving understanding.

Making a child or youth feel worthless, unloved, or unwanted can inflict serious and long-lasting injury on his or her emotional well-being and development. Young people struggling with any exceptional condition, including same-gender attraction, are particularly vulnerable and need loving understanding—not bullying or ostracism. With the help of the Lord, we can repent and change and be more loving and helpful to children – our own and those around us.[5]

In December of 2012, the Church published mormonsandgays.org. The new official Church website included interviews with three apostles, including Elder Oaks, Elder Christofferson, and Elder Cook. It encouraged understanding and prominently called for us to “love one another.” This website gave the quote from Elder Oaks, expressing the need for Church members to respond more sensitively and thoughtfully. It encouraged humility and stated that “Latter-day Saints recognize the enormous complexity of the matter. We simply don’t have all the answers.” [6]

On this website, Elder Cook reminded us that as a Church nobody should be more loving and compassionate.

. . .as a Church nobody should be more loving and compassionate. No family who has anybody who has a same-gender issue should exclude them from the family circle. They need to be part of the family circle. . . . We have a plan of salvation. And having children come into our lives is part of Heavenly Father’s plan. But let us be at the forefront in terms of expressing love, compassion, and outreach to those and let’s not have families exclude or be disrespectful of those who choose a different lifestyle as a result of their feelings about their own gender. . . . I feel very strongly about this… It’s a very important principle. [7]

The need for us to love and lift all of God’s children was emphasized by Elder Neil L. Anderson in April 2014 General Conference.

Of special concern to us should be those who struggle with same-sex attraction. It is a whirlwind of enormous velocity. . . . everyone, independent of his or her decisions and beliefs, deserves our kindness and consideration. The Savior taught us to love not only our friends but also those who disagree with us—and even those who repudiate us. He said: “For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? …And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others?” The Prophet Joseph Smith warned us to “beware of self-righteousness” and to enlarge our hearts toward all men and women until we feel “to take them upon our shoulders.” In the gospel of Jesus Christ, there is no place for ridicule, bullying, or bigotry.[8]

While speaking at a BYU devotional in September 2015, Elder Rasband encouraged the student body to reach out to all people just as the Savior did. He specifically talked about the need to reach out to those that are LGBT. Several days later he posted the following on his Facebook page:

Some of you wrote of the conflict that you’ve felt in showing #Fairness4All, especially with individuals who see life differently from you. You expressed worry that such friendships might betray your beliefs. I want to reiterate that the Savior is the perfect example of reaching out in love and support. His interest in others was always motivated by a pure love for them. Sometimes we approach relationships with the intent to change the other person. We follow our Savior best when we base our relationships on principles of love.[9] Emphasis added

In the BYU devotional Elder Rasband testified that as we reach out to others we would feel an increase in the Savior’s love for all people and that this powerful love would open doors and create meaningful friendships to be cherished throughout our lives. [10] It is important as disciples of Christ, to have a wide variety of friends.

In October 2016, the Church released an updated website now called mormonandgay.lds.org. The updated website continued to emphasize the need for change and members responding more sensitively and thoughtfully. It included a new video helping us understand the need to reach out to those that are marginalized. It reminded us that “the gospel of Jesus Christ does not marginalize people. People marginalize people and we have to fix that. We need to be sensitive.” [11] We need to love others as the Savior loves all of us and follow the example He set during His life on earth. We need to stand up when others speak or act in negative ways.

This new Church website, mormonandgay.lds.org, has a video of Elder Dallin H. Oaks titled “Love and the Law.” In it Elder Oaks states, “As Latter-day Saints, many of us, not all of us, but many of us, are inclined to insist on the law and do so in an unloving way…” In addressing conflict, Elder Oaks said, “The first thing I always suggest is keep loving them; in the end that is something you can always do.”  He said that we should not start off our interactions by arguing and he went on to say:

The Savior commanded His followers to “Love one another as I have loved you.” So we look at how He loved us. He sacrificed Himself for us. He was concerned always with the individual. He had a wonderful outreach for people. I think those are all indicators of how we can love one another like He loved us. If we make Him our role model we should always be trying to reach out to include everyone. [12]

The principal causes of Utah’s deeply troubling youth suicide problem are still largely undetermined. This is mostly due to a lack of detailed data, which the Utah Department of Health is working to overcome.

The Church has published articles related to suicide prevention and published a new website on the topic. It continues to urge its members to be compassionate and inclusive of others and to be especially mindful of our youth, including LGBT people.

In April 2016, President Uchtdorf reminded us that condemning, ridiculing and shaming are wrong.

During the Savior’s ministry, the religious leaders of His day disapproved of Jesus spending time with people they had labeled “sinners.” Perhaps to them it looked like He was tolerating or even condoning sinful behavior. Perhaps they believed that the best way to help sinners repent was by condemning, ridiculing, and shaming them. . .  What matters is that you are His child. And He loves you. He loves His children.[13]  

Note that President Uchtdorf put the word “sinners” is in quote marks reminding us that we shouldn’t be labeling others, especially when it affects the way we treat them.

In December 2016, President Uchtdorf said:

To put it simply, having charity and caring for one another is not simply a good idea. It is not simply one more item in a seemingly infinite list of things we ought to consider doing. It is at the core of the gospel—an indispensable, essential, foundational element. Without this transformational work of caring for our fellowmen, the Church is but a facade of the organization God intends for His people. Without charity and compassion we are a mere shadow of who we are meant to be—both as individuals and as a Church…. No matter the outward appearance of our righteousness, if we look the other way when others are suffering, we cannot be justified. [14]

 

[1] Elder Dallin H. Oaks, Church News, “Church Updates Resources Addressing Same-Sex Attraction” Contributed by Camille West, October 25, 2016. See also www/mormonandgay.lds.org/articles/love-one-another-a-discussion-on-same-sex-attraction

[2] Elder Dallin H. Oaks, “Same-Gender Attraction” Ensign, October, 1995, p. 10

[3] Ibid

[4] Michael Otterson, “Church Reponds to HRC Petition: Statement on Same-Sex Attraction”, October 12, 2010 http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/church-mormon-responds-to-human-rights-campaign-petition-same-sex-attraction

[5] Dallin H. Oaks April 2012 General Conference, “Protect the Children”  https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/protect-the-children?lang=eng#note10

[6] On original mormonsandgays.org main page. https://web.archive.org/web/20161025015242/http://mormonsandgays.org/

[7] Elder Quentin L. Cook, Church News, “Church Updates Resources Addressing Same-Sex Attraction” Contributed by Camille West, October 25, 2016. See also at https://mormonandgay.lds.org/videos?id=15209571875228076146#d.

[8] Elder Neil L. Andersen, “Spiritual Whirlwinds,” General Conference, April 2014

[9] Elder Ronald A. Rasband  Facebook post Sept. 29, 2015

[10] Elder Ronald A. Rasband BYU devotional Sept. 15, 2015

[11] Sister Carol F. McConkie, First Counselor, Young Women General Presidency, “Lifting Others” video https://mormonandgay.lds.org/videos?id=9655787446538818627

[12] Elder Dallin H. Oaks, video “Love and the Law” https://mormonandgay.lds.org/videos?id=7254846371177561723

[13] President Uchtdorf General Conference April, 2016. “He Will Place You on His Shoulders and Carry You Home”

[14] President Uchtdorf Address to the Salt Lake City Inner City Mission, given December 4, 2015

RiseUp Podcast – The Choice of Discipleship

by

Podcast: Download (36.0MB)

Subscribe: RSS

Last_supperSome of the greatest questions that we have in life don’t arise from an unknown piece of information, rather the choices we make in the direction of our lives. There is one choice that is so fundamental that it requires both ernest study, and a lifetime of reappraisal and recommitment to that choice. I speak of the choice of discipleship.

A disciple is a title given to followers of Jesus Christ. President James E. Faust defined discipleship this way in the October 2006 General Conference:

“The word for disciple and the word for discipline both come from the same Latin root—discipulus, which means pupil. It emphasizes practice or exercise. Self-discipline and self-control are consistent and permanent characteristics of the followers of Jesus, as exemplified by Peter, James, and John, who indeed “forsook all, and followed him.” The disciples of Christ receive a call to not only forsake the pursuit of worldly things but to carry the cross daily. To carry the cross means to follow His commandments and to build up His Church on the earth. It also means self-mastery.”

In D&C 41:5 God defines further what He considers to be a disciple, “He that receiveth my law and doeth it, the same is my disciple; and he that saith he receiveth it and doeth it not, the same is not my disciple, and shall be cast out from among you.”

In other scriptures are additional ways to describe the acts and therefore the character of a disciple. Sometimes this is further emphasized by stating behaviors that distinguish an individual as lacking the characteristics of a disciple. D&C 45:32 addresses the disciples choice to be steadfast and to be found doing the right things, in the right place, at the right time, “But my disciples shall stand in holy places, and shall not be moved; but among the wicked, men shall lift up their voices and curse God and die.”

D&C 52:40 addresses the need to love and care for our neighbors, “And remember in all things the poor and the needy, the sick and the afflicted, for he that doeth not these things, the same is not my disciple.”

D&C 103:27-28 speaks to the level of commitment that a disciple must have to the commandments and principles of Jesus Christ and His gospel, “Let no man be afraid to lay down his life for my sake; for whoso layeth down his life for my sake shall find it again. And whoso is not willing to lay down his life for my sake is not my disciple.”

President James E. Faust also taught this the same October 2006 General Conference talk:

What is discipleship? It is primarily obedience to the Savior. Discipleship includes many things. It is chastity. It is tithing. It is family home evening. It is keeping all the commandments. It is forsaking anything that is not good for us. Everything in life has a price. Considering the Savior’s great promise for peace in this life and eternal life in the life to come, discipleship is a price worth paying. It is a price we cannot afford not to pay. By measure, the requirements of discipleship are much, much less than the promised blessings.”

As stated before, the choice of discipleship is a two part choice. First one must study and come to know the life of a disciple. The second is to remain true to that commitment and to that lifestyle unceasingly. The best source for studying the life of a disciple is to study the life of Jesus Christ. He is the example of who a disciple can and should become, and it is in His teachings that we learn how to act as he would act. A disciple must choose to follow the Savior’s example and teachings.

When a person is baptized into the church, this acts as a formal declaration of discipleship. Elder Daniel L. Johnson of the Seventy said this in the October 2012 General Conference:

“Those of us who have entered into the waters of baptism and received the gift of the Holy Ghost have covenanted that we are willing to take upon ourselves the name of Jesus Christ, or in other words, we declare ourselves to be disciples of the Lord. We renew that covenant each week as we partake of the sacrament, and we demonstrate that discipleship by the way that we live.”

Those of who have been baptized have made the choice of discipleship, but we have also promised to always keep true to that commitment. This choice does not come with an exist strategy, vacation days, or an expiration date. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf said this in the April 2014 General Conference, “Being a disciple of Jesus Christ is not an effort of once a week or once a day. It is an effort of once and for all.”

When placed up against physical or spiritual trials, maybe even those where we question our faith, or waver in our commitments due to feeling a sense of being overwhelmed, the choice to continue in discipleship can seem especially difficult.

When a person comes across a troubling piece of history, or social pressures to accept a lifestyle or practice that is contrary to gospel standards, one may begin to question that choice of discipleship. Other times we observe challenges in our life that are more situational, such as a loss of job, the death of a loved one, or pressing issues like experiencing same sex attraction, gender confusion, or mental health issues like depression or anxiety, and wonder if God is real, or even ask “for what evil am I being punished?” Another question that is commonly asked is, “Why should I be so committed to something that is hard to understand, or seems to conflict with what I now know?” I too, have had moments where I questioned my commitments in light of certain trials of faith, or due to the choices others have made that have had an adverse impact on my dedication.

In those times I try to remind myself that I am not alone in these feelings. Even the Savior’s chosen Apostles in the old world, often called disciples in the scriptures, had periods of wavering commitment.

Jeffrey R. Holland gave a powerful lesson in the October 2012 General Conference entitled The First Great Commandment. I encourage a weekly study of that talk as part of our sacrament preparation. In that talk Elder Holland recounts the story of Peter and the other disciples being called, ministering for three years with the Savior, then going back to fishing-back to their previous life. I offer this story because within its text is the key to self-appraising our level of commitment, but also the methods to finding the desire to re-ignite that commitment time and time again.

“There is almost no group in history for whom I have more sympathy than I have for the eleven remaining Apostles immediately following the death of the Savior of the world. I think we sometimes forget just how inexperienced they still were and how totally dependent upon Jesus they had of necessity been. To them He had said, “Have I been so long time with you, and yet hast thou not known me … ?”

But, of course, to them He hadn’t been with them nearly long enough. Three years isn’t long to call an entire Quorum of Twelve Apostles from a handful of new converts, purge from them the error of old ways, teach them the wonders of the gospel of Jesus Christ, and then leave them to carry on the work until they too were killed. Quite a staggering prospect for a group of newly ordained elders.

Especially the part about being left alone. Repeatedly Jesus had tried to tell them He was not going to remain physically present with them, but they either could not or would not comprehend such a wrenching thought. Mark writes:

“He taught his disciples, and said unto them, The Son of man is delivered into the hands of men, and they shall kill him; and after that he is killed, he shall rise the third day. “But they understood not that saying, and were afraid to ask him.”

Then, after such a short time to learn and even less time to prepare, the unthinkable happened, the unbelievable was true. Their Lord and Master, their Counselor and King, was crucified. His mortal ministry was over, and the struggling little Church He had established seemed doomed to scorn and destined for extinction. His Apostles did witness Him in His resurrected state, but that only added to their bewilderment. As they surely must have wondered, “What do we do now?” they turned for an answer to Peter, the senior Apostle.

Here I ask your indulgence as I take some nonscriptural liberty in my portrayal of this exchange. In effect, Peter said to his associates: “Brethren, it has been a glorious three years. None of us could have imagined such a few short months ago the miracles we have seen and the divinity we have enjoyed. We have talked with, prayed with, and labored with the very Son of God Himself. We have walked with Him and wept with Him, and on the night of that horrible ending, no one wept more bitterly than I. But that is over. He has finished His work, and He has risen from the tomb. He has worked out His salvation and ours. So you ask, ‘What do we do now?’ I don’t know more to tell you than to return to your former life, rejoicing. I intend to ‘go a fishing.’” And at least six of the ten other remaining Apostles said in agreement, “We also go with thee.” John, who was one of them, writes, “They went forth, and entered into a ship immediately.”

But, alas, the fishing wasn’t very good. Their first night back on the lake, they caught nothing—not a single fish. With the first rays of dawn, they disappointedly turned toward the shore, where they saw in the distance a figure who called out to them, “Children, have you caught anything?” Glumly these Apostles-turned-again-fishermen gave the answer no fisherman wants to give. “We have caught nothing,” they muttered, and to add insult to injury, they were being called “children.”

“Cast the net on the right side of the ship, and ye shall find,” the stranger calls out—and with those simple words, recognition begins to flood over them. Just three years earlier these very men had been fishing on this very sea. On that occasion too they had “toiled all the night, and [had] taken nothing,” the scripture says. But a fellow Galilean on the shore had called out to them to let down their nets, and they drew “a great multitude of fishes,” enough that their nets broke, the catch filling two boats so heavily they had begun to sink.

Now it was happening again. These “children,” as they were rightly called, eagerly lowered their net, and “they were not able to draw it for the multitude of fishes.” John said the obvious: “It is the Lord.” And over the edge of the boat, the irrepressible Peter leaped.

After a joyful reunion with the resurrected Jesus, Peter had an exchange with the Savior that I consider the crucial turning point of the apostolic ministry generally and certainly for Peter personally, moving this great rock of a man to a majestic life of devoted service and leadership. Looking at their battered little boats, their frayed nets, and a stunning pile of 153 fish, Jesus said to His senior Apostle, “Peter, do you love me more than you love all this?” Peter said, “Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee.”

The Savior responds to that reply but continues to look into the eyes of His disciple and says again, “Peter, do you love me?” Undoubtedly confused a bit by the repetition of the question, the great fisherman answers a second time, “Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee.”

The Savior again gives a brief response, but with relentless scrutiny He asks for the third time, “Peter, do you love me?” By now surely Peter is feeling truly uncomfortable. Perhaps there is in his heart the memory of only a few days earlier when he had been asked another question three times and he had answered equally emphatically—but in the negative. Or perhaps he began to wonder if he misunderstood the Master Teacher’s question. Or perhaps he was searching his heart, seeking honest confirmation of the answer he had given so readily, almost automatically. Whatever his feelings, Peter said for the third time, “Lord, … thou knowest that I love thee.”

To which Jesus responded (and here again I acknowledge my nonscriptural elaboration), perhaps saying something like: “Then Peter, why are you here? Why are we back on this same shore, by these same nets, having this same conversation? Wasn’t it obvious then and isn’t it obvious now that if I want fish, I can get fish? What I need, Peter, are disciples—and I need them forever. I need someone to feed my sheep and save my lambs. I need someone to preach my gospel and defend my faith. I need someone who loves me, truly, truly loves me, and loves what our Father in Heaven has commissioned me to do. Ours is not a feeble message. It is not a fleeting task. It is not hapless; it is not hopeless; it is not to be consigned to the ash heap of history. It is the work of Almighty God, and it is to change the world. So, Peter, for the second and presumably the last time, I am asking you to leave all this and to go teach and testify, labor and serve loyally until the day in which they will do to you exactly what they did to me.”

Then, turning to all the Apostles, He might well have said something like: “Were you as foolhardy as the scribes and Pharisees? As Herod and Pilate? Did you, like they, think that this work could be killed simply by killing me? Did you, like they, think the cross and the nails and the tomb were the end of it all and each could blissfully go back to being whatever you were before? Children, did not my life and my love touch your hearts more deeply than this?”

My beloved brothers and sisters, I am not certain just what our experience will be on Judgment Day, but I will be very surprised if at some point in that conversation, God does not ask us exactly what Christ asked Peter: “Did you love me?” I think He will want to know if in our very mortal, very inadequate, and sometimes childish grasp of things, did we at least understand one commandment, the first and greatest commandment of them all—“Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind.” And if at such a moment we can stammer out, “Yea, Lord, thou knowest that I love thee,” then He may remind us that the crowning characteristic of love is always loyalty.

“If ye love me, keep my commandments,” Jesus said. So we have neighbors to bless, children to protect, the poor to lift up, and the truth to defend. We have wrongs to make right, truths to share, and good to do. In short, we have a life of devoted discipleship to give in demonstrating our love of the Lord. We can’t quit and we can’t go back.”

If you want answers to questions about historical events, if you want answers on who to marry, if you want answers on wether or not to go or even stay on a mission, remembering and recommitting to your choice of discipleship will put you back in a mindset to feel and recognize the spirit. It is that spirit that will guide you into truth and will guide you to an exalted life. If we can answer that now famous question, “Do you love me?” with a “yes, I do love thee Lord,” we can feel of His love, we can be open to the promptings of the spirit, and we can find answers to difficult questions we may face. In essence we can feel peace. I have felt that peace in my own life and I can testify that this is true. I do love the Lord, and that choice to love the Lord is the choice of discipleship.

FairMormon-Rise-Up-iTunes-logo

RiseUp Podcast: Dealing with gender dysphoria – Finding inner peace through Christ

by

Podcast: Download (80.2MB)

Subscribe: RSS

Dealing with gender dysphoria: Finding inner peace through Christ – An interview with Kyle and Amy Merkley. To read Kyle’s story and be introduced to the Journey’s of Faith Project from NorthStarLDS, click here.

Kyle and Amy MerkleyKyle is the oldest of five children. He grew up in an amazing family and he’s grateful for the strength his family gives him. Kyle is currently attending graduate school at Brigham Young University studying Classical Languages and Literature. He loves literature and loves sharing this love of literature with others. Music has always been a huge part of his life and he plays trumpet, piano, and organ. Kyle has been married for almost five years to Amy who is one of the most amazing women in the world. She helps him to be a better person every day. Kyle loves reading, watching chick flicks, shopping with his wife, and all things nerdy.

Kyle is here with his wife Amy to talk about their very unique circumstances. For the sake of our conversation today, those unique circumstances will likely focus on the topic of Kyle identifying as being transgender or experiencing gender dysphoria. Kyle has contributed to a new project of the group NorthStar LDS entitled Journeys of Faith – The Journeys of Faith Project is a growing repository of personal essays by Latter-day Saint individuals and families wrestling with issues related to gender identity (e.g., gender dysphoria and/or transgenderism) and are striving to find congruence and peace within the context of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

RiseUp is a podcast designed to offer answers and frameworks for youth, or young adults who are seeking answers to difficult or critical questions about LDS Culture and doctrine.

Questions addressed in this episode:

There is so much to learn and absorb with the topic of being transgender or experiencing gender dysphoria, but let’s first set some foundational items for the basis of our getting to know you and some of the challenges that you face starting with the terms, the lexicon of words that are most welcome to be used when dealing with this subject. What does it mean to be transgender, and what does it mean to experience gender dysphoria in perhaps a more clinical or text book sense?

In your essay on the Journeys of Faith project, entitled: Jesus Wins: Finding Faith in Ambiguity” you express some concepts that may sound familiar to some teenagers in some respects, but maybe not in others. If you could talk about your experience with mirrors growing up.

With your specific life scenario, you were born a genetic male. When did you feel that just didn’t fit your mind’s eye of yourself?

How did your parents respond to this scenario?

It’s important to make the distinction, that in your experience, the thoughts you had were not related to sexual urges or attraction, per se, but just how you saw yourself.

Being a teenager is typically defined in some part with the experience of self-discovery, and the challenges that arise when your body goes through certain biological changes, as well as social independence. But here you are, with another layer to that, something very uncharted in the Mormon experience. In your essay you state that the atonement of Jesus Christ gave you hope, particularly Moroni 10:32 “Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ…”

Music also became a part of your life a coping mechanism. We are both trumpet players as I understand it.

So, even with all that was going on with your life you decided to attend BYU as opposed to perhaps some other university where being transgender would be more either present, accepted, if not encouraged to a certain extent.

BYU led you to a mission call to the California Anaheim Mission. Opening that letter, Dear Elder Kyle Merkley. How did that feel to read that, given your trials and circumstances up to this point? Did you see this as a point of success, of achievement to even feel ready to put in your papers?

In your essay you state: “While serving a mission was really hard in some ways (I had to deal with constant depression, and living with all guys triggered my gender dysphoria), I found serving a mission also clearly defined a role for me. I didn’t have to struggle with the question of who I was. I was told exactly who I was and how I was supposed to act every day. It was that sense of purpose which kept me going.”

It was on your mission that you actually first learned the name for what you were experiencing, or at least a term that has been assigned to those experiencing similar emotions, transgender.

At some point you describe studying for hours, days, weeks, what have you, to find some guidance on what it means to be Transgender and a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and you kind of snap under the cognitive dissonance, or maybe it would be vacuum of space where questions remained unanswered.

In all this there were some coping mechanisms that you installed, some self-medication that served as a sort of pressure release for all that you were feeling. What were some of those things?

This is when Amy your now wife enters the picture. I have hears some very dear things about Amy, I can’t wait to hear her side of things. How did you two meet?

Kyle has some incredibly tender words to describe what you meant to him, “She asked me out when I didn’t have the self-confidence to ask anyone out. She liked me when I couldn’t find the strength to like myself. And eventually, she loved me when all I felt inside was self-loathing. When we started dating she brought happiness back into my life. Every time I was around her, I felt so right—a rightness I’d been searching for my whole life. She made the pain of gender dysphoria recede into the background. She brought light and color back into a world which was colorless and bleak. She gave me hope. She loves life so much and finds joy in so many little things. Every time I was with her I found little joyful reasons to love life as well. As we dated, she began the process of healing my broken spirit.”

Amy, when did you know this is what you meant to Kyle? When were you opened up to what Kyle was feeling?

You wrote a letter to Amy explaining what was going on, what was in that letter? Is that something public or too personal to be public?

That reprieve from the gender dysphoria came back three months after you were married. What happened? How did you choose to respond?

Here you are today, still together, and now putting your story out there in an effort to help others, to strengthen others to stay true, to know that there is an answer in the gospel of Jesus Christ, and the atonement is stronger than some of the most discouraging trials one can face.

Now that we know your story, and what an amazing story it is and will continue to be, the next little bit I would love to get some insights or suggestions both for those who may be experiencing gender dysphoria themselves, as well as for their family, friends, and even ecclesiastical leaders in order to help all understand this issue more fully, but also to find a path of faith, a journey of faith that includes gender dysphoria.

Starting with those who are experiencing gender dysphoria, if you haven’t already said it in the telling of your story, what would you say to the person listening that may be in that place? Kyle I would like you to answer first, and then Amy, if you could also have a response for that same person.

You go on to say in this essay, “I don’t always know how to deal with the pain of having gender dysphoria, and I constantly wonder how my identity as transgender fits with my identity as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.” I think members of the Church are in the same place, we don’t always know what to think or how to respond. I can think of the bishop sitting in his office and having someone come to them and say, Bishop, I think I am transgender, and that Bishop going, hmm… what does the handbook say about this? I have looked, and it’s currently blank on this issue. There are issues relating to chastity in which one may make some educated and hopefully inspired decisions, but it is one of those points where we will believe what God will reveal with respect to this issue, but until then, perhaps you could give your advice to a bishop or stake president that is approached with this issue and wants to do so with love, but also inspired guidance.

Perhaps you would be willing to provide some answers and insight you have received as you have fasted and prayed, in an effort to reconcile the lack of information in church manuals and scriptural sources on gender dysphoria specifically, with things like the Family: A Proclamation to the World which clearly asserts the teachings on gender.

Moving forward on the right path, or the choice you have made to remain faithful to your covenants; how does one live by faith when approaching gender dysphoria or being transgender?

Kyle and Amy Merkley are defining what it means to be on a journey of faith. We will post a link to Kyle’s essay as part of the Journeys of Faith project from NorthStarLDS, we encourage all to read it and come to feel the spirit of Kyle’s testimony. Please feel free to share this message with others as part of an effort to show forth love and support, to do as Elder Christofferson encouraged in the April 2015 general conference, to march with those who are experiencing gender dysphoria, and to extend a hand of fellowship as a way of building a zion people.

For Additional Resources on Gender Dysphoria or related issues, please visit NorthStarLDS’s resources by clicking here.

FairMormon-Rise-Up-iTunes-logo